I think I just saw 2 birds mating.

…

Let me tell you how I know you are an adult.

You just looked at the UPS tracking for your drugstore.com package which includes a large order of toilet paper [which you bought online because of $10 free drugstore.com dollars (plus ebates)].

Gotcha.

Someone tell me what is going on here. I have to know.

Someone tell me what is going on here. I have to know.

alutamillloves:

If this isn’t the cutest thing ever.

Shut up.

Holy hell.

Just discovered a list of all the people I’ve hidden from my newsfeed on Facebook over the years.

It was so long. Dozens and dozens of people. Some of them were people I forgot even existed.

…turns out the slutty brownie concept works just as well (better) with Thin Mints.

…turns out the slutty brownie concept works just as well (better) with Thin Mints.

A sombrero, 4 extra-large [“not dishwasher safe!”] bowls, and 5 sheets of mustache tattoos.

Prep work for an epic 30th birthday-meets-Cinco de Mayo party.

unknowneditors:

Yummy Nutella Biscuit

Important.

jellybeanmcgee:

GPOY

How is this for real? And how do I sign up for the kind of life that would require a clock to remind me what day of the week it is?

How is this for real?

And how do I sign up for the kind of life that would require a clock to remind me what day of the week it is?

Is this what we are calling polenta now?

Is this what we are calling polenta now?

Tomorrow is for wearing red.

Equal pay day.  Get on it, girls.  

You know that feeling you get when you see someone you went to school with in the Sunday NYT Weddings?

Like…sort of vomit inducing, sort of happy for them, sort of jealous, sort of shocked, sort of impressed, sort of ugh?

Is Fort Lauderdale airport the worst thing ever or the worst thing ever?

Both. All of the above. Awful.

Refuse to leave.

Refuse to leave.